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Recently, the WHO released data showing that depression is the number one cause of disease and disability among adolescents aged 10 to 19 years old worldwide. At least 30 million children under the age of 17 suffer from various emotional and behavioral problems. Young people have such serious mental and psychological problems, not only due to complex social factors, but also from their own characteristics, and another factor that cannot be ignored is their parents.
The rapid development of society and fierce social competition make parents feel invisible pressure, and even physical and mental problems, and parents in the process of raising children infect this negative psychological impact on their children. Children and adolescents are the most sensitive and vulnerable groups in the population. In particular, some only children, single-parent children, and left-behind children are less able to adapt to the environment and cope with pressure, and there will be obvious adverse reactions in the slightest disturbance.
In the process of educating their children, parents also have some common mistakes:
Blind comparison. Some parents are eager to "hope their children to become dragons and their daughters to become phoenixes". When they see that their children's performance is different from their own requirements, they complain and blame, and always like to compare their own children's shortcomings with the advantages of other people's children. As a result, children lose self-confidence and desire to succeed. If things go on like this, they will show obvious introversion, withdrawal, and prone to depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive and other diseases.
Wrong compensation. Some parents have been wronged when their children were young, or because they have not fulfilled their parental responsibilities before, they try to compensate materially when their children grow up and try to meet any requirements of their children so that they don’t let their children eat anymore. A little bit of suffering, a little bit of tiredness. This kind of "love" seriously affects the normal development of the child's body and mind, and will make him develop a self-centered, selfish, and willful character, who neither knows how to be grateful, nor can he handle interpersonal relationships well, and may have difficulty adapting to it when he grows up. society.
Encourage your dreams to come true. Some parents are accustomed to placing dreams that they could not realize when they were young on their children, regardless of their own characteristics and hobbies, and do their best to nurture their children. In order for the children to be outstanding and versatile, various tutoring classes and interest classes were reported to the children, which eventually led to the children's disgust, rebellious emotions, and some even turned against each other.
The root of this wrong approach of parents lies in the fact that many parents have obvious utilitarian thinking on the issue of children’s education, emphasizing knowledge and ignoring ability, and mental development rather than personality cultivation. To this end, some suggestions for parents:
The first is to "put down your body" and listen to the child's voice. Children’s psychological endurance is worse than that of adults. When children encounter problems and are wrong, parents should listen to their children with love and patience. Only love can warm the heart of a child.
The second is to establish a good relationship with the child. To build a good parent-child relationship, you must start from the child's childhood, interact with children and play together. When you are with your children, you must pay special attention to the "quality" of getting along with your children. It is necessary to put everything aside and interact wholeheartedly in order to achieve heart-to-heart harmony. At the same time, pay attention to establishing an equal relationship with your children, treat your children as your own friends, and respect your children in order to understand your children's inner thoughts and have a more sincere relationship with your children. There is a saying: "To know what the world looks like in the eyes of a child, you must first squat down and see the world from the child's position and height." Love is an art. Love needs expression and action. Sometimes a hug is better than a hug. Thousands of words.
Then there is a full understanding of the child's needs. Parents should give their children time to play and don’t over-arrange their lives. In the cultivation of children, it is necessary to respect the children's choices and give up perfectionism according to the characteristics of the children. Parents expect their children to show the best, but sometimes being too eager to correct or improve their performance can be counterproductive.
In addition, parents should be role models for their children. The role model of precepts and deeds is better than simple preaching. Parents, as their children’s enlightenment teachers, must be consistent in their words and deeds. They should not quarrel in front of their children, refrain from speaking bad things about others in front of their children, complaining steadily, refraining from angering or losing their temper at will, playing less, and learning more.
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